Fear and Loathing in Barcelona

Mia had always said that she would do any drug put in front of her so when Bambi told her that Derby Boy had got them acid, she couldn't wait.

The night started at Derby Boy´s house, the three of them were drinking and waiting for his house-mate to come home with the tabs. On arrival, they were told to take half a tab each as they were really strong and so the three of them did as they were told and waited for the trip to start. Twenty minutes later and none of them could feel a difference and so Mia and Derby Boy took another whole one and Bambi took another half. Mia´s mouth felt like cotton and she started to freak out think that she might be overdosing. After drinking five shots of tequila, they jumped into a cab and made their way to their favourite club Catwalk.

None of them knew what would happen when they started to trip, Mia was waiting for her eyes to start vibrating in her head, D.B was waiting for the numb feeling of Cocaine and Bambi was waiting for the rush of MDMA. On the way in the taxi, the three of them giggled for no reason. Inside they met up with the rest of their friends, none of them on any form of neurotics. Mia went slightly dead and the acid kicked in. Derby started to freak out and wanted to go home, the girls were enjoying themselves and told him to drink some alcohol thinking it would level him out like it normally does with Cocaine. As the trips started to get stronger, D.B freaked out even more. The girls took him to the downstairs smoking lounge, thinking it would calm him down. But being away from the loud music and bright lights didn't do him any good. Mia found herself attached to the yellow backdrop where the black paisley design kept moving in the different directions.Bambi tried to calm D.B down but he was in his own state and left the girls to go home.

When the girls returned upstairs, they were greeted by the oddest atmosphere. The music was louder than normal and Mia kept screaming really loud. All of a sudden everyone was really ugly and she couldn't understand why. Apart from her friends, everyone had distorted faces, people with long noses and small eyes. The girls saw a short fat guy and a tall skinny guy both dressed in clowns clothes and asked each other if they were really seeing the same thing. Strange things were happening and Mia was getting freaked out by an odd man who kept tapping on her shoulder all night and waving hello. She couldn´t figure out if she knew him or not.

In the toilet, the girls were mesmerized but the mirror ball on the wall, to Mia, it looked like rain and to Bambi, it looked like tears. Next came the camouflage Catwalk where everyone was wearing army clothes, the bass in the music sounded like helicopters flying above and the lights turned green. Then came aquamarine Catwalk, where she saw dolphins and other marine life floating around.

The girls continued dancing, the giggled and stared into space and experience life in a whole new way. For them, the night would getting any stranger even if they tried...this was Fear and Loathing Barcelona style.

Dial 112 for Help

Mia has not written for nearly a year, not due to the lack of drama in her life, on contrary - the last year has possible been the eventful of them all and so on the eve of her first AA meeting, she has decided to get back out there and clear the air.

Highlights (hardly the correct term) of the last year involve
- Her Russian boyfriend who once rescued her from a hit and run accident, turning crazy and cornering her in their bathroom for 45 minutes with a kitchen knife.
- Being offered 1000e for one night of passion with a complete stranger.
- The return of The Womanizer
- Confront herself with the reality that her anemia will always take control of her life
- Burnt herself out by lighting the candle at both ends and nearly had a nervous breakdown.

The next few posts are not for the faint hearted so if you think you can stomach it, pick up your mug of brew and get comfy because its going to be a rocky ride.

Tell Jesus, The Bitch is Back

Mia has been away, where you ask? No where in particular, she's just been busy with life in general and had to put the Social Whoring on hold for a minute. However, as usual, there is always drama in her life and after a whirlwind week, she decided to kick start her creative juices and upload herself back into the world.

The last time Mia wrote, she was happily loved up with The Russian, having just celebrated her birthday and dealing with her psychotic headcase housemate and being made homeless. Mia had been offered a job working for her friend Troy helping him run his Escort Agency. Days, Months ran away with her. After what seemed a lifetime of dragging suitcases, shoes and photo's of her past life around Barcelona, she called a guy who worked in a hostel she had stayed at months before. The Polish Guy had mentioned he was looking for a housemate and had previously asked Mia if she was interested. At the time she wasn't but now she desperately needed a place.

Late on a Sunday night, she went to see the apartment in the trendy part of Barcelona, as he showed her around, she imagined herself in the flat. She loved the size of the bedroom she would be living in, the living room had a light feel to it and the bathroom had enough cupboard space to fill with half of Lush's back catalogue. She asked The Polish Guy where his bedroom was and was taken back when he said it was a one bedroom flat. She was slightly confused, he told her he was away from home a lot for work and needed someone to look after the place and while he was at home, he slept on the sofa after a long day's hard work.

Desperate for a place to live, she agreed to move in, she found him slightly creepy and promised herself that she would use her next pay check to find another more suitable place. On the first night she moved in, he kept her up late, asking her questions about her life, when he asked her if she had a boyfriend, she noticed that his face dropped when she replied yes. He told her not to invite him over and that he would be jealous if she did. She agreed, only to keep the peace.

The next day, she waited for The Russian to come back from work, he had gotten into a drunken brawl at the weekend and had lost his phone. She was worried and needed to make sure he was okay. She didn't really know where they were heading or what they even meant to each other, he liked to keep her waiting and guessing and it kept her on her toes. That night she told her about her new living arrangements and how uncomfortable it made her. She stayed the night and enjoyed the sweet embrace of his arms.

In the morning she woke up to find 82 missed calls on her phone, The Polish Guy had been calling her, leaving her messages and texting asking why she hadn't come home. The last call was at 6.30am and Mia grew more disturbed and shaken by his actions. His messages ranged from anger to upset to concerned. He told her he wouldn't sleep until she came home and that he was worried about her. She felt sick to her stomach listening to his voice, this was a man whom she had only spent an hour with before. She told the Russian and showed him the messages, he laughed it off and told her not to worry about it.

She stayed another night, not thinking about what The Polish Guy might be thinking, the next day, she woke up to texts of abuse and mesages threatening to throw her belongings in the street. She called TPG asking him why he was behaving in the way he was, he told her that he thought they were meant to be together and that they were going to live together and be happy. Feeling ill and angry at the thought of what he was implying, Mia told him she was moving out. She would go back to the flat while he was at work and move all her stuff out.

Within the hour, he had called her back and told her he was packing her stuff. The Russian's house was on the other side of town and she had no money for the Metro or a cab. She ran in her flip flops as fast as she could. She let herself into the flat, ready to confront The Polish Guy, only to find him sitting on the sofa...masturbating with her underwear on the coffee table.

She said nothing, packed and left...

Bitch needs a slap in the face!

Mia confronted her mother, her whole life was a lie. If it wasnt bad enough having an awakard childhood and being bullied as a kid, she was now dealing with the fact that she had a secret brother and was a whole year older. The response she got was not one she was looking for. Her mother refused to open up and told Mia it was none of her business. She wouldnt let her open up the past and she didnt want Mia nosey around and trying to find out what was going on.

In the end, Mia gave up. She had too much going on in her own life and really couldnt deal with anymore pressure. She agreed to listen to her parents and move away from the crowd she hung out with. She decided that studying wasnt for her and that she wanted to train as a hairdresser and beauty therapist. She found an internship and worked long hours to stay away from her family, she kept in touch with her best friend from college and eventually found herself warming to the idea of being with him. She was bored and had fallen for Virginity Boy and the fact that College Dropout had a girlfriend made the chase even more exciting.


Mia managed to hide the relationship from her parents for 6 months, she would lie there and stare at the wall while he endlessly thrusted in her, she would listen to his constantly moaning about how unfair life was and pretend she gave a shit. It was the most boring rebound Mia had been dealt. It was coming up to her 18th birthday and Mia was looking forward to being spoilt, it finally meant she could go out and party and not have to worry about her overbearing parents, she would finally be a free spirit and could be the adult she wanted to be but as Mia has learnt the hard way, things never work out the way you want them to.

Mia´s grandmother had cancer again...and she only had a month to live.

If her world hadnt already collapsed, it was going to now.

Whose the daddy?

Mia was having trouble at home, she didnt want to live there anymore but wasnt stable enough to manage by herself. Although at first The Only Indian In The Village had been there for her, their relationship soon turned sour and one morning Mia decided to end their relationship. It was then that she called his best friend whom she had grown close to for comfort. She had also had a thing for him and they decided to meet up the next day.

Mia wasnt sure what she was doing but somehow ended up in London's Bushy Park. In the midst of tears and angry, she found herself losing her virginity to the man she had wanted for so long. In retrospect, Mia laughs at the thought of losing it in one of the Royal Parks in front of a deer but it only lasted 3 seconds and was memorial for all the wrong reasons. Clearly, not prepared for it, they didnt use any protection and on the way home, Mia freaked out and went on the hunt for the morning after pill. Those days, it was still two pills and Mia took one and hide the other and went back out again to tell her best friend about her day.

A few days later, she went out with Virginity Boy and got so drunk she didnt make it home, scared at the reaction of her parents, she decided not to go home at all and her mother along with her Godmother went through her room and found the morning after pill. When Mia finally came home after a week of sleeping on friends floors, she was confronted by her whole family who decided that she was to quit college and stop going to the town all together where she was studying. Her phone was confiscated and she wasnt allowed to go anywhere unless there was a family member with her.

Mia was pissed off and fed up with her family controlling her life all the time, she decided to finally get her own back and went through her parents paper work while they were away, there had to be some dirt somewhere and she was planning on using it against them but what she found out was something she didnt know how to deal with...

Not only had her mother been previously married, Mia had a biological brother and was a whole year older than she thought she was.

This is now, that was then pt 2

Mia moved to a whole new neighbourhood and couldnt wait to start her new life. At college, she was a whole new person, no one knew her as the tomboy from college. At 16, she was 3 years younger than all of her friends and it wasnt long before she was spending all her time in the local pub. She liked the new freedom she had, although her parents kept tabs on where she went, she realised that between the hours of 9 and 6, she could do whatever she wanted.

She started drinking, normally from 11am until 5pm, when she had to leave and get the bus home. For 6 months, she hid the fact she wasnt going to college from her parents. It wasnt like school anymore and she didnt HAVE to go in, the teachers never harassed her and in some of her lessons, she would go in drunk. In fact, she was drunk in most of her ICT lesson and actually made more sense than when she was sober. She started smoking, possibly to despite her parents and to annoy her father who also smoked.

Until this point, she had never had any guys show interest in her but now, men were coming from left, right and center. She didnt tell anyone she was still a virgin, she hadnt even kissed a boy and went along with stories of pure filth that made everyone think she was some kind of Sex Goddess. Soon came the time when everyone started to fool around with each other and Mia, being at that age she was, wanted to lose her virginity and get it over and done with.

Earlier in the year, she had stopped a tall, blonde, blue eyed boy in the street and exchanged numbers, months later, they bumped into each other and began drinking in the same pub. The boy was a douchebag but Mia soon started to feel stronger for him than any of the others in the group. They would hang out together but he had other things in mind and would constantly be hooking up with other girls. Confused by his actions, Mia decided to go out with his best friend, The Only Indian In The Village. He was not a good looking boy but gave Mia some form of comfort and security. He worked full time as well as studied, although he did the studying less than often and gave Mia her own credit card.

Soon her parents caught wind of what was going on and contacted her college tutor to find out what was happened, when he informed her that she had been skipping college, her parents had her followed for 2 weeks to find out what was really happening. One evening, Mia's father took her mobile phone, her passport and her bank card and told her she was not going to college again. She was housebound and he beat her up so bad that she couldnt walk up the stairs. The next morning, she woke up to be told that she would be driven into college, where she would empty out her locker and inform her tutors she would be returning.

Inside the college, she found one of her friends, whom she persuaded to help her sneek out the back entrance and so she ran, to The Only Indian In The Village's work and told him what happened. For the rest of the day, she hid from her parents and stayed at a friends house trying to figure out what to do with her life. Her parents had contacted the local police saying she had been kidnapped by some guy she knew and they were worried about her and so the next day she had to return to the police station and meet her parents.

Inside the station, her mother whisped to her in Hindi that if she didnt go along with the fact that everything was okay at home, the authorities would put her into a foster home and she wouldnt have anyone left in the world that cared about her. Mia was scared, she didnt want to be alone. She just didnt want to feel like a prison in her own home. She wanted her mother to open her eyes to her father's cheating, lies and violent beatings towards her. She wanted her father to stop being such a bastard and learn to love her but most of all, Mia just wanted to be happy but then again, you cant always have what you want and she was going to learn the hard way...

The biggest bombshell of her life was going to rock her to her very soul.

This is now...that was then pt 1

Mia has been struggling with what to write about...you see, she´s already told you about her love for toxic men who drive her to insanity with the urge of intense passion and she left it with the story of The Womanizer. She could not go back to being in London for a few months and tell you how she dealt with being constantly depressed, couldnt get out of bed and finally ruined whatever was left of her relationship with The Spartan but to understand where she is now, you have to know what happened before.

This is the story of Mia.

Mia had an awakard childhood, her parents divorced before she was born and her mother never told her father that she was pregnant, instead she married a man who never accepted Mia as his own daughter. Her older brother was sent to live with her biological father, both of whom she didnt meet until she was 17. Memories of Mia´s early childhood are sweet, her maternal grandmother brought her up while both parents were at work. Mia was a naughty child, constantly running away, causing havoc and never listening to elders, somethings havent changed to this day. It was only when Mia reached the age of puberty that things really changed. Her step-father started to punish her for the smallest things, first came the constant shouting, then the military style movements, making her stand crouched down, holding her ears through her legs, giving pain through out her body and finally the beating. The beatings were the worse and only ended two years ago when she woke up one day and realised that he would kill her unless he had her arrested.

Mia hated the way she was treated at home by her father and stopped eating. Now as a young woman she has realised that this was the only way she could control her life. After constantly being told she was ugly, she seeked comfort in tracksuit bottoms and baggy t-shirts. She spent hours in the local park, playing football and trying to become one of the boys. At school she was teased for having a hairy upper lip, something that constantly troubled her and meant everyone would laugh and point at her and although some of the boys were close friends to her, she never once had a boy interested in her.

As she grew older and into her teenage years, she persuaded her mum to try and help improve the situation and get rid of her hairy lip and buy some girly clothes but that didnt work. She coudnt get rid of the image everyone had of her. The beatings got worse, Mia made stories up of how she had been in fights in the local park to cover up what was going on at home. She grew more and more angry and would start fights with anyone she could at school. She was more and more troubled and felt no love in her life.

Her parents marriage was in pieces after her father was made redudant and her mother found out that he was having an affair with another woman that he worked with. An affair which 18 years on is still continuing and Mia is finding it hard to accept the actions of both her parents and has realised that affects her relationships to this day. Instead of finding another job, her father decided to sit at home and play with her mother´s hard earned cash on the stock markets. At this point in their life, Mia´s mother had a stable, well paying job that provided for the whole family and neither Mia or her brothers ever felt like they were in any financial trouble but whenever her father would lose the money, he would kick off and make a very public scene and Mia´s mother would finally give in. The end result was Mia´s mother having to give in and re-mortaging the house and finally selling it so they could make ends meet.

A week before Mia´s 16th birthday, they moved an hour away to a nice, white, middle class area away from anyone they knew and down the road from Mia´s brothers´ public school. Mia was to start college in September and her Godfather had said he would pay for her brother to go school until he was 18. Mia made the mistake of thing that moving to a new area would be a fresh new start...but the move only just made things worse and there would be no more stability in her life for a while.