Tell Jesus, The Bitch is Back

Mia has been away, where you ask? No where in particular, she's just been busy with life in general and had to put the Social Whoring on hold for a minute. However, as usual, there is always drama in her life and after a whirlwind week, she decided to kick start her creative juices and upload herself back into the world.

The last time Mia wrote, she was happily loved up with The Russian, having just celebrated her birthday and dealing with her psychotic headcase housemate and being made homeless. Mia had been offered a job working for her friend Troy helping him run his Escort Agency. Days, Months ran away with her. After what seemed a lifetime of dragging suitcases, shoes and photo's of her past life around Barcelona, she called a guy who worked in a hostel she had stayed at months before. The Polish Guy had mentioned he was looking for a housemate and had previously asked Mia if she was interested. At the time she wasn't but now she desperately needed a place.

Late on a Sunday night, she went to see the apartment in the trendy part of Barcelona, as he showed her around, she imagined herself in the flat. She loved the size of the bedroom she would be living in, the living room had a light feel to it and the bathroom had enough cupboard space to fill with half of Lush's back catalogue. She asked The Polish Guy where his bedroom was and was taken back when he said it was a one bedroom flat. She was slightly confused, he told her he was away from home a lot for work and needed someone to look after the place and while he was at home, he slept on the sofa after a long day's hard work.

Desperate for a place to live, she agreed to move in, she found him slightly creepy and promised herself that she would use her next pay check to find another more suitable place. On the first night she moved in, he kept her up late, asking her questions about her life, when he asked her if she had a boyfriend, she noticed that his face dropped when she replied yes. He told her not to invite him over and that he would be jealous if she did. She agreed, only to keep the peace.

The next day, she waited for The Russian to come back from work, he had gotten into a drunken brawl at the weekend and had lost his phone. She was worried and needed to make sure he was okay. She didn't really know where they were heading or what they even meant to each other, he liked to keep her waiting and guessing and it kept her on her toes. That night she told her about her new living arrangements and how uncomfortable it made her. She stayed the night and enjoyed the sweet embrace of his arms.

In the morning she woke up to find 82 missed calls on her phone, The Polish Guy had been calling her, leaving her messages and texting asking why she hadn't come home. The last call was at 6.30am and Mia grew more disturbed and shaken by his actions. His messages ranged from anger to upset to concerned. He told her he wouldn't sleep until she came home and that he was worried about her. She felt sick to her stomach listening to his voice, this was a man whom she had only spent an hour with before. She told the Russian and showed him the messages, he laughed it off and told her not to worry about it.

She stayed another night, not thinking about what The Polish Guy might be thinking, the next day, she woke up to texts of abuse and mesages threatening to throw her belongings in the street. She called TPG asking him why he was behaving in the way he was, he told her that he thought they were meant to be together and that they were going to live together and be happy. Feeling ill and angry at the thought of what he was implying, Mia told him she was moving out. She would go back to the flat while he was at work and move all her stuff out.

Within the hour, he had called her back and told her he was packing her stuff. The Russian's house was on the other side of town and she had no money for the Metro or a cab. She ran in her flip flops as fast as she could. She let herself into the flat, ready to confront The Polish Guy, only to find him sitting on the sofa...masturbating with her underwear on the coffee table.

She said nothing, packed and left...

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Mia's?

Tiger is in his early 50s. I met him one night when I was out and about in town with Boy Bank Hunk and Stoner Boy. The first night I met him, he drank my piss out of a pint glass, but hey, thats a story for another post. Over the last year, we became good friends and when I was homeless earlier on in the year before I moved back to London, he let me sleep on his couch and gave me a job where he worked. I was grateful, he was an entertaining guy but his behaviour started to worry me. He would insist on sitting next to me all the time with his arm around me, tried kissing me a few times on the lips and always wanted to hold my hand when we were walking down the street. At first I didnt think much of it, then came the phone calls. He would call me up to 15 times a day. He had nothing to say to me, he just wanted to see what I was doing. He drinks a lot you see and has a tendency to want to see me when he is.

When I moved back to London, apart from Bambi, he was the only one that called me or kept in touch. I used to look forward to his phone calls and when I moved back to Barcelona a few weeks ago, he was one of the first people I wanted to find. My new apartment wouldnt be ready for another week and he let me sleep on his floor so I wouldnt have to fork out for a hotel.

The first few days were brilliant but then he would drink and become annoying. He's an alcoholic as I mentioned and Im trying to be a good girl. In a town where the beer is cheaper than water, its easy to get hammered every day. I wanted out. I moved apartments and started work. Whenever I saw Tiger, I always made sure I spoke about men I had met whilst I was out. I hoped that he would finally understand there was no way in hell we would be together.

He knew The Womanizer and kept asking me why I didnt want to be with him when he knew he could treat me so much better than TW ever did. I politely made my excuses and avoided the topic. We went out to dinner one night where he sunk two bottles of red wine and pulled my boob out of my dress. He insisted we look like we were together when the reality of it was I looked like a whore he had got off the streets. What else would you think of an old greying man with a young good looking woman?

I flirted with the waiter and made sure Tiger saw it. He kept calling me a tart and asking me how many of the people we knew had slept with me. Over and over again I kept asking myself why I was friends with him and when he tried to make me feel like I owed him something for letting me sleep in his apartment I lost the plot.

Over the next week, I avoided his phone calls or barely spoke to him. Then one day, I went mad when I found out that he had sold my laptop for half the price because he needed money when he was meant to be looking after it. As I told my friends about what had happened I questioned myself again. Why was I friends with him?

One night I went out with a mutual friend of ours who brought along The Russian. Tiger had spoken to me about him before and I had instantly liked the sound of him. Over drinks, I fell completely head over heels in lust with him. The next day Tiger called me up to say he had heard I had met The Russian and it sounded like I had a good chance of being under him by tht end of the week.

A few days later, I called The Russian the night before my birthday and asked him if he wanted to take me out. That night, we went out with a few of my friends and eventually we decided we both wanted more. As the night turned into morning and I fell asleep in his arms, Tiger kept calling me wish me Happy Birthday. I left The Russian's house and went to go see him. As we sat down, I made it a point to get my point across that I was with someone else now and he couldnt behave the way he does.

I thought I had made myself clear when I told him I was with The Russian. He asked me whether I had fucked him and what was going on. I left quickly, telling him I had to go meet some friends. Later that afternoon, I went with The Russian and my friends to Gava, just outside of Barcelona for a party pool to celebrate my birthday. While I was there, I had 3 missed calls from Tiger.

Not sure why he was calling me, I told The Russian to pick up and talk to him. They knew each other and I explained the situation to him. He agreed with me that I wasnt imagining it and I had a right to be concerned. Over the course of the evening, he called twice again and when The Russian answered he called back again hoping to speak to me. Just before 10pm he called and asked if he could sing Happy Birthday to me down the phone. As he finished, I asked if he wanted to speak to The Russian and he hung up on me.

The next morning when I switched my phone back on, I had 4 missed calls from him. He called again a few hours later screaming down the phone for ignoring him the night before. He was drunk and couldnt understand why I was ignoring him. As I told him I was with The Russian, he flipped and started threatening to tell him lies about me and what I had been up to. This was one man who didnt like what was going on and was going to do everything to make sure I wasnt going to stay with The Russian for too long.

He just didnt get the point that he is over twice my age, is an alcoholic and will never be with me.

Who said that you had to be famous to have a stalker...has anyone else had a problem like this before?

Alex The Cocaine Dealer Pt 2

Alex and the boys had a long history of trouble. The boys had gone into his offices and destroyed the place and in response, Alex had sent the local mafia to break The Womanizers legs. Time had passed and the boys had put all this business behind them...that was all until all hell broke loose when I attacked Alex.

By the time I got out of the bath, The Womanizer and Bambi were in the bedroom, sat on the bed talking. The smile on her face told me things were good and I shouldnt worry about my future with him. After I changed, I walked into the living room to find more people had arrived with more drugs and more drink. The party was well and truly under way and at half 8 in the morning, where most people were on their way to work, this lot were only just getting started.

The thing with drug taking is, when you stopped and take yourself out of the zone, no matter how long for, whether its 5 minutes or 5 hours, we dont want to get back into it when you see the way everyone else is behaving. Instead of sitting down with the rest of them, I went back into the bedroom and asked if I could get into bed while Bambi and TW chilled out. Within 5 minutes, Alex had walked in and got into bed with me. I sat in silence while the other two looked over and TW asked me if I was okay. Replying I was tired and needed to sleep, I asked Alex if he minded leaving so I could sleep. He wouldnt listen to neither my pleeds or TW's so when he pushed himself on me, I flipped.

Having grown up with an abusive step-dad I wasnt scared of being attacked by a man and knowing that TW was only inches away gave me the strength and stupidity to tell Alex to fuck off before I bitch slapped him. Within seconds, he flipped and started screaming he wanted money for his drugs. Back at the house I hadnt done anything and so I walked off into the living room where the rest of the boys were. Alex came following me in and grab me by the neck and pushed me up against the wall, telling me he would kill me unless I gave him €50.

BBH intervined and pushed Alex aside while Swedish Boy handed him over his last €50 which he was meant to use to get to the airport. Shaken by what had just happened, I walked back into the bedroom, half fuming, half teary. Not wanting them to see how upset I was, I sat on the bed with my back to the door. Bambi made the mistake of walking out into the living room and got caught in the middle. Alex threatened to kill her and she broke down. Furniture was thrown around and BBH gave Alex his €3,000 jacket and told him to fuck off and leave.

Meanwhile, in the bedroom, The Womanizer tried to persuad me into bed but I wasnt having any of it. Bambi and Swedish Boy left to go home so he could pack his stuff and I sat down with The Womanizer and wondered what I was doing with him.

Alex The Cocaine Dealer Pt 1

One night, Bambi, Boy Bank Hunk and I were out with a few other people. We were in our usual Tuesday night spot, drinking, dancing and coked off our faces. Everything was normal, until we needed more drugs. Bambi ran off to find a dealer as it was her forte to do and I went to go see him and make the exchange. He led me and another girl, whom he said was his girlfriend into the bathroom and took the bag out. He racked up three lines and afterwards shoved his tongue down my mouth. Being in a small cubicle with two other people and grams of cocaine in my pocket meant that I couldn't do much, so I made my excuses and left. A few hours later and Boy Bank Hunk wants us and Swedish Boy to come back to the flat he shared with The Womanizer and continue with the party.

As we got ready to get into the car, BBH spotted Alex, the dealer I had met in the toilet earlier. He told him to jump in the cab with us and come back for the party. At the flat, TW was asleep and was soon woken up by BBH. When he finally walked into the room, in a half woken trance, he said hello to everyone but me. It had been just over 2 weeks since he told me there was no room for me in his life and I had no intentions of speaking to him. As everyone sat around drinking endless shots of vodka, smoking and snorting the heaps on cocaine everywhere, I sat with Swedish Boy. Although I had only known him for 2 weeks, we had bonded very closely as friends and he was due to go back to Sweden to be with his girlfriend. Bambi was sitting on the other side of the room with The Womanizer and BBH had fallen asleep, in need of a power nap.

Eventually TW came over and said hello and tried to grab some attention but at this point, I was too busy trying to shove as much shit up my nose as I could that I didnt care. In the kitchen, Alex and his helper has raked up line after line and decided to start their morning distribution gig which they would of done if they were at home. I sat in the corner, watching them, being polite and asking questions about where they were from and how they know the boys. Alex made it clear that he was interested in Bambi earlier in the night and when she had refused his advances, he turned his attention onto me.

Seeing the fact that I was in TW's flat, steps away from the bed we used to sleep in and seconds away from him in the other room, I freaked out when Alex tried to kiss me again. I made my excuses and left the room. He followed me and pinned me up against the wall, kissing my neck, trying to get me worked up. As I pushed him away, I told him I was with someone else and he should leave me alone. I went off and sat with Swedish Boy while Alex went over and spoke to The Womanizer.

Apparently Alex asked TW what was the quickest way of getting me into bed to which TW replied it wasn't going to happen so he should just leave me alone. Alex walked off in a mood and I told TW I was tired and was going to take a bath. While I was soaking in poor heaven of fluffy bubbles and wetness, Alex had tried to hit on Bambi again and asked TW why she had knocked him back again. The Womanizer replied he didn't know but threw in that he had slept with Bambi in the summer and that he had been with me for the last few months.

What neither of the boys had told us was how they knew Alex and how what The Womanizer had just said was going to change the whole mood of the night.

I should of just stayed in that bath really.