How Do You Solve A Problem Like Mia's?

Tiger is in his early 50s. I met him one night when I was out and about in town with Boy Bank Hunk and Stoner Boy. The first night I met him, he drank my piss out of a pint glass, but hey, thats a story for another post. Over the last year, we became good friends and when I was homeless earlier on in the year before I moved back to London, he let me sleep on his couch and gave me a job where he worked. I was grateful, he was an entertaining guy but his behaviour started to worry me. He would insist on sitting next to me all the time with his arm around me, tried kissing me a few times on the lips and always wanted to hold my hand when we were walking down the street. At first I didnt think much of it, then came the phone calls. He would call me up to 15 times a day. He had nothing to say to me, he just wanted to see what I was doing. He drinks a lot you see and has a tendency to want to see me when he is.

When I moved back to London, apart from Bambi, he was the only one that called me or kept in touch. I used to look forward to his phone calls and when I moved back to Barcelona a few weeks ago, he was one of the first people I wanted to find. My new apartment wouldnt be ready for another week and he let me sleep on his floor so I wouldnt have to fork out for a hotel.

The first few days were brilliant but then he would drink and become annoying. He's an alcoholic as I mentioned and Im trying to be a good girl. In a town where the beer is cheaper than water, its easy to get hammered every day. I wanted out. I moved apartments and started work. Whenever I saw Tiger, I always made sure I spoke about men I had met whilst I was out. I hoped that he would finally understand there was no way in hell we would be together.

He knew The Womanizer and kept asking me why I didnt want to be with him when he knew he could treat me so much better than TW ever did. I politely made my excuses and avoided the topic. We went out to dinner one night where he sunk two bottles of red wine and pulled my boob out of my dress. He insisted we look like we were together when the reality of it was I looked like a whore he had got off the streets. What else would you think of an old greying man with a young good looking woman?

I flirted with the waiter and made sure Tiger saw it. He kept calling me a tart and asking me how many of the people we knew had slept with me. Over and over again I kept asking myself why I was friends with him and when he tried to make me feel like I owed him something for letting me sleep in his apartment I lost the plot.

Over the next week, I avoided his phone calls or barely spoke to him. Then one day, I went mad when I found out that he had sold my laptop for half the price because he needed money when he was meant to be looking after it. As I told my friends about what had happened I questioned myself again. Why was I friends with him?

One night I went out with a mutual friend of ours who brought along The Russian. Tiger had spoken to me about him before and I had instantly liked the sound of him. Over drinks, I fell completely head over heels in lust with him. The next day Tiger called me up to say he had heard I had met The Russian and it sounded like I had a good chance of being under him by tht end of the week.

A few days later, I called The Russian the night before my birthday and asked him if he wanted to take me out. That night, we went out with a few of my friends and eventually we decided we both wanted more. As the night turned into morning and I fell asleep in his arms, Tiger kept calling me wish me Happy Birthday. I left The Russian's house and went to go see him. As we sat down, I made it a point to get my point across that I was with someone else now and he couldnt behave the way he does.

I thought I had made myself clear when I told him I was with The Russian. He asked me whether I had fucked him and what was going on. I left quickly, telling him I had to go meet some friends. Later that afternoon, I went with The Russian and my friends to Gava, just outside of Barcelona for a party pool to celebrate my birthday. While I was there, I had 3 missed calls from Tiger.

Not sure why he was calling me, I told The Russian to pick up and talk to him. They knew each other and I explained the situation to him. He agreed with me that I wasnt imagining it and I had a right to be concerned. Over the course of the evening, he called twice again and when The Russian answered he called back again hoping to speak to me. Just before 10pm he called and asked if he could sing Happy Birthday to me down the phone. As he finished, I asked if he wanted to speak to The Russian and he hung up on me.

The next morning when I switched my phone back on, I had 4 missed calls from him. He called again a few hours later screaming down the phone for ignoring him the night before. He was drunk and couldnt understand why I was ignoring him. As I told him I was with The Russian, he flipped and started threatening to tell him lies about me and what I had been up to. This was one man who didnt like what was going on and was going to do everything to make sure I wasnt going to stay with The Russian for too long.

He just didnt get the point that he is over twice my age, is an alcoholic and will never be with me.

Who said that you had to be famous to have a stalker...has anyone else had a problem like this before?

Back to Basics...

So enough with the moaning, its now been 5 days since my accident and I´ve already taken the cast off and have been partying all weekend. Yes, I know, I was moaning and bitching about being in so much pain but I´ve found the solution. A great little mixture of weed, booze and painkillers. I´ve been hobbling around like an eejit but its actually worked to my advantage...Ive had tons of cute guys asking me why I´ve got cuts on my face...shame I can´t do anything about it. Back to story time and it´s time you meet my new man.

This is the story of The Hot Russian.

I was meant to stay away from men remember? I promised myself I would move to Barcelona and concentrate on me. Get a new job, make new friends and not make the same mistakes I did last time, falling for someone within the space of weeks and not doing my own thing. All was going well until Tiger mentioned this Hot Russian he knew. He was a younger, hotter, slightly more insane version of Boy Bank Hunk and well, I always had a soft spot for that boy. I harassed Tiger to invite the Hot Russian out. I knew he wouldn´t, purely because Tiger wants me for himself and knew that I would want the Hot Russian and I always get what I want.

One night I made him call the Russian in front of me and when he asked I grabbed the phone. Tiger was right, he sounded hot on the phone but as they always say...cute on the phone, add a stone. I told him to come out, he was busy that night but I was trying to persuad him otherwise. I told him to keep the next night free, knowing that I had already made plans and wasnt going to meet him.

A week later and I needed some guy I knew taken care off and so I called up a friend of mine who normally deals with shit like that. We arranged to meet up for a drink before we went to pay a visit to this guy so I was in a pleasant shock when he turned up with a friend of his...who was stunning gorgeous and happened to be The Hot Russian. As I stood there, half trying to flirt with him, half trying to remember that I was furious with this twat that needed to be slapped around a bit, I realised why Tiger didnt want me to meet him.

After the whole ordeal, we went back for another drink, we ignored our friend and flirted in the most innocent way possible. As we left the bar and the boys walked me to the cab, The Hot Russian put his arm on the small of my back when we crossed the road. For a girl whose had men that treat her life shit, I melted. I couldnt stop smiling to myself and the next morning when Tiger called me and mentioned The Hot Russian, my heart skipped a beat. Apparently, he had taken a fancy to me and Tiger was sure that I would be underneath him by the end of the weekend.

It was my birthday weekend...and I couldnt think of a better way to celebrate.

Alex The Cocaine Dealer Pt 2

Alex and the boys had a long history of trouble. The boys had gone into his offices and destroyed the place and in response, Alex had sent the local mafia to break The Womanizers legs. Time had passed and the boys had put all this business behind them...that was all until all hell broke loose when I attacked Alex.

By the time I got out of the bath, The Womanizer and Bambi were in the bedroom, sat on the bed talking. The smile on her face told me things were good and I shouldnt worry about my future with him. After I changed, I walked into the living room to find more people had arrived with more drugs and more drink. The party was well and truly under way and at half 8 in the morning, where most people were on their way to work, this lot were only just getting started.

The thing with drug taking is, when you stopped and take yourself out of the zone, no matter how long for, whether its 5 minutes or 5 hours, we dont want to get back into it when you see the way everyone else is behaving. Instead of sitting down with the rest of them, I went back into the bedroom and asked if I could get into bed while Bambi and TW chilled out. Within 5 minutes, Alex had walked in and got into bed with me. I sat in silence while the other two looked over and TW asked me if I was okay. Replying I was tired and needed to sleep, I asked Alex if he minded leaving so I could sleep. He wouldnt listen to neither my pleeds or TW's so when he pushed himself on me, I flipped.

Having grown up with an abusive step-dad I wasnt scared of being attacked by a man and knowing that TW was only inches away gave me the strength and stupidity to tell Alex to fuck off before I bitch slapped him. Within seconds, he flipped and started screaming he wanted money for his drugs. Back at the house I hadnt done anything and so I walked off into the living room where the rest of the boys were. Alex came following me in and grab me by the neck and pushed me up against the wall, telling me he would kill me unless I gave him €50.

BBH intervined and pushed Alex aside while Swedish Boy handed him over his last €50 which he was meant to use to get to the airport. Shaken by what had just happened, I walked back into the bedroom, half fuming, half teary. Not wanting them to see how upset I was, I sat on the bed with my back to the door. Bambi made the mistake of walking out into the living room and got caught in the middle. Alex threatened to kill her and she broke down. Furniture was thrown around and BBH gave Alex his €3,000 jacket and told him to fuck off and leave.

Meanwhile, in the bedroom, The Womanizer tried to persuad me into bed but I wasnt having any of it. Bambi and Swedish Boy left to go home so he could pack his stuff and I sat down with The Womanizer and wondered what I was doing with him.

Alex The Cocaine Dealer Pt 1

One night, Bambi, Boy Bank Hunk and I were out with a few other people. We were in our usual Tuesday night spot, drinking, dancing and coked off our faces. Everything was normal, until we needed more drugs. Bambi ran off to find a dealer as it was her forte to do and I went to go see him and make the exchange. He led me and another girl, whom he said was his girlfriend into the bathroom and took the bag out. He racked up three lines and afterwards shoved his tongue down my mouth. Being in a small cubicle with two other people and grams of cocaine in my pocket meant that I couldn't do much, so I made my excuses and left. A few hours later and Boy Bank Hunk wants us and Swedish Boy to come back to the flat he shared with The Womanizer and continue with the party.

As we got ready to get into the car, BBH spotted Alex, the dealer I had met in the toilet earlier. He told him to jump in the cab with us and come back for the party. At the flat, TW was asleep and was soon woken up by BBH. When he finally walked into the room, in a half woken trance, he said hello to everyone but me. It had been just over 2 weeks since he told me there was no room for me in his life and I had no intentions of speaking to him. As everyone sat around drinking endless shots of vodka, smoking and snorting the heaps on cocaine everywhere, I sat with Swedish Boy. Although I had only known him for 2 weeks, we had bonded very closely as friends and he was due to go back to Sweden to be with his girlfriend. Bambi was sitting on the other side of the room with The Womanizer and BBH had fallen asleep, in need of a power nap.

Eventually TW came over and said hello and tried to grab some attention but at this point, I was too busy trying to shove as much shit up my nose as I could that I didnt care. In the kitchen, Alex and his helper has raked up line after line and decided to start their morning distribution gig which they would of done if they were at home. I sat in the corner, watching them, being polite and asking questions about where they were from and how they know the boys. Alex made it clear that he was interested in Bambi earlier in the night and when she had refused his advances, he turned his attention onto me.

Seeing the fact that I was in TW's flat, steps away from the bed we used to sleep in and seconds away from him in the other room, I freaked out when Alex tried to kiss me again. I made my excuses and left the room. He followed me and pinned me up against the wall, kissing my neck, trying to get me worked up. As I pushed him away, I told him I was with someone else and he should leave me alone. I went off and sat with Swedish Boy while Alex went over and spoke to The Womanizer.

Apparently Alex asked TW what was the quickest way of getting me into bed to which TW replied it wasn't going to happen so he should just leave me alone. Alex walked off in a mood and I told TW I was tired and was going to take a bath. While I was soaking in poor heaven of fluffy bubbles and wetness, Alex had tried to hit on Bambi again and asked TW why she had knocked him back again. The Womanizer replied he didn't know but threw in that he had slept with Bambi in the summer and that he had been with me for the last few months.

What neither of the boys had told us was how they knew Alex and how what The Womanizer had just said was going to change the whole mood of the night.

I should of just stayed in that bath really.

Shut Up And Let Me Go

Two days after she left his house, she received death threats due to her involvement with him. Everyone knew that they had been seeing each other and when TW had gotten into an argument with BBH, he threatened her by putting a knife to her neck, trying to get a point across to TW. Although she had nothing to do with it, she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Having a knife to her neck was the last thing she needed.

In rage, she wrote TW a letter telling him she didn’t need a man like him in her life and he didn’t deserve her. She put it through it this letter box and forgot about it. On New Years Eve, she called him up to see what they were going to do but was told to fuck off and leave him alone. Later that night, TW got into a fight that left him with two broken ribs and a black eye.

A month later, Mia left Barcelona without saying goodbye. She packed her bags, left his clothes on his doorstep and never looked back.

They say out of sight, out of mind don’t they?

***STOP PRESS***

It is my birthday next Saturday (yay me!) and to celebrate, I'm letting all you lovely readers ask me ANYTHING. No matter how rude (in fact, the ruder, the better), how insane or silly. Either a) leave it in the comments below OR if you wish to remain anon b) email me at missmiadickinsonATgmailDOTcom.

Back to old tricks

TW's new flat was around the corner from his girlfriend's work. He stopped calling Mia or returning her texts, she was going out with his friends all the time but he had told them not to bring her around. On the odd occasion they would see each other, they would satisfy each other and then afterwards he would sit there in guilt. It was obvious that they were in too deep but TW refused to acknowledge it and kept pushing Mia away. Eventually they just stopped seeing each other all together and she started to go out with BBH a lot and partied hard to get TW out of her system. She was now drinking more than ever and consuming every drug that she could get her hand on.

She was convinced that he had told his friends to keep an eye on her and therefore failed to make any sudden appearances on the rebound scene. The weekend before Christmas, Mia and Bambi did acid for the first time and ended up at TW's house. Although she was under the influence, she noticed that TW was horrible to her in front of people and kept telling everyone that he was trying to get rid of her but she would never leave and get out of his life. Up until now, he hadn’t said anything bad against her, to her face or behind her back. She sat there close to tears as he told her that he needed to be a bastard to him so she would forget about him and move on. She accepted what he said and went home.

She was going to back to London for Christmas and the night before she was flying, she ended up at his flat. As they lay in bed, he felt her tight but didn’t say a word. Mia didn’t know what to think anymore, she didn’t know what to do and she didn’t understand him. He said he didn’t want to be with her but he couldn’t tell her she meant nothing to him.

She was in London for a week before a family argument led to her coming back to Barcelona early. She tried calling him but he didn’t answer. In the end, she gave up; she had moved into a new flat and was spending Christmas with people she didn’t know. Late on Christmas Day, BBH called her up and told her to come out for drinks. When she got there, he told her that TW had just left to go home. Mia assumed it was to be with his girlfriend but after an hour, she was told that his girlfriend didn’t want to spend Christmas with him and that he was alone. After a few hours, drinking with BBH and Stoner Boy, she called TW and went over to see him.

She found him sitting alone in this living room, drinking vodka and listening to Michael Buble. They sat up talking about things that happened recently, the night they had all done acid and how things were going. He was telling her about the new girl he was seeing and although Mia was gutted inside, she didn’t want to show it, she told him how she had broken up with Control Freak and decided she was happy being single. The next thing they knew, the clothes were off and they were all over each other. Afterwards they sat there and TW told her that he hated it when they were arguing.

Mia stayed over for the next 3 days; they didn’t sleep together after Christmas Day but watched DVDs, ate and talked about his relationship with his girlfriend. The New Year was approaching soon on them and he had decided it was make it or break it with his girlfriend. BBH came home on the 2nd day and the three of them sat around eating junk food, chilling and watching DVDs.

Mia had missed this...

Dont You Have A Girlfriend?

Mia had moved in with Bambi who made her realise that she was completely crazy about TW. They both started to go out with Stoner Boy and Boy Band Hunk every night and even though TW never came out, Mia would think of him. One night, after a very messy session, they all went back to the flat. It had been nearly two and a half week since they had last seen each other, the longest they had gone since they met. Mia ignored TW for a while, deciding that he wasn’t worth her time. Eventually they were packed into the bedroom and they tried talking things through. Mia was determined not to give into and jump into bed with him. Things were made more complicated when she had pissed off Alex, the coke dealer they had brought home with them from the club. Before they knew it, the boys had to go to work but told the girls to stay for a bit and chill out.

At 8pm, TW came home to find Mia and Bambi in his bed passed out, he was meant to be having dinner with his girlfriend but instead had come home to drop off a bottle of Vodka for BBH and his friends. Mia cracked the bottle open and was soon very drunk, having not had anything to eat. TW’s girlfriend had called him up screaming demanding to know why he had stood her up and BBH had come home alone. The four of them continued drinking and Mia soon decided that she needed some bedroom action and stood there completely naked apart from a bed sheet covering her ordering TW take her in the bedroom. They say absence really makes the heart fonder and it was definitely the case, for 6 hours they didn’t leave the bedroom and finally passed out at 8am, only to be woken up by TW’s girlfriend calling him saying she wanted to meet him.

The next day, BBH had been in the bar Mia was working in and got very drunk, he went home and put his hand through a table and got into an argument with TW. As Mia was getting into the lift to go up to the boy's flat, she saw TW coming downstairs telling her she wasn’t going up there. As they walked down the street, she wondered where he was going and asked him if he needed to use her phone to call someone. It was half 5 in the morning and she had to find a cab and go home. She couldn’t believe it when he asked if he could stay over. He had a girlfriend who lived down the road and friends all over the city and yet he wanted to stay with her. They went home and fell asleep. The next day when they woke, she thought he would leave but he didn’t. He stayed with her all weekend, turned his phone off and chilled out. People where calling her trying to find out where he was but she just told them she didn’t have a clue. She found it really peculiar how they were calling her and not his girlfriend. On Monday morning, he left her and went home.

She knew he was moving house that week and was hoping that they would talk about what was going on between but things changed like she could never imagine and before she knew it, she had pressed the self-destruct button

Are we, Arent we?

STOP PRESS: Mia is currently sitting on her balcony, over looking Barcelona's Gran Via. Yes, after a month of umm-ing and aaah-ing, she finally packed her bags and left. She hopes you enjoy her posts while she is here as much as you did while she was in London.

Stoner Boy’s brother had come over from Australia for the week and had planned a massive party. Mia had turned up at the bar to meet the two brothers alongside Boy Band Hunk. The guys treated her like one of the gang and didn’t mention The Womanizer. In the middle of their pub crawl, TW turned up and demanded to know why she was out with his friends. They got into an argument and Mia told him to fuck himself. Deep down inside she knew that he had fallen for her feisty attitude and no bullshit approach. TW disappeared for a few hours, only to reappear when they were at a club. Mia had just met Bambi and was enjoying the company of all of Stoner Boy’s friends. She was drunk and coked up and didn’t care what TW thought and continued to grind with every cute guy in sight and making sure he could see it.

At the end of the night, when they were all sat outside deciding what to do next, she kept getting asking by everyone where TW was. She had no idea and when she went to go find him; she found him sitting in the corner of the club with a friend talking business. She told him that everyone was waiting for him and said goodbye. He told her to go to his flat and that he would be around in a bit but when she got there, the flat was occupied by the boys getting drunk and being loud. She wasn’t in the mood and ended up going home and having a bath. When she got out of the bath, she saw she had a miss call from TW. She called him back and asked what he wanted. He told her to get into a cab and come see him now.

When she got there, she was greeted by Boy Bank Hunk who told her that she should go into the bedroom and talk to TW about their feelings for each other. Still confused by what was going on, she went and sat in bed with him, wondering what BBH was talking about. He asked her what she wanted and whether she wanted to be with him. She wasn’t sure if he was trying to tell her how he felt about her or if he was trying to find out how she was feeling so he could get rid of her. At the end of the conversion, he told her that he was becoming addicted to her and that he wasn’t going to leave his girlfriend and they should stop seeing each other. She left and didn’t see him for another two week in which she tried to forget about him. She had a threesome with two of her friends and still drunk afterwards texted him telling him how much she wished it was him she was fucking rather than someone else.

What she hadnt realised is how much emotion that one text evoked from TW and how she wouldnt stop hearing about it for weeks to come