Belated Birthday Blog

So yesterday was my birthday! I actually ended up celebrating it over two nights because...I wanted to. As always, it was full of social drama and at times I was considering adding a few more names to the list of people I want to naypalm but shockingly I was very well behaved! Activities will be blogged about later, although I will go ahead and say I have a new man in my life who treats me like a Queen and is making me very happy indeed. Possibly the best birthday present Ive had ever.

Now back to the blog, at the beginning of the month, I offered myself up to any questions you have in mind to ask me. Some of the answers are a bit too much information so if you are easily offended...I dont know why you read this blog in the first place!

ScoMan asked

What's the funniest thing you've ever seen?

Probably the time I accidently punched my Mum in the face. The two of us were sitting with my youngest brother in bed who kept punching me. I made him hold his hand out and swung back to hit it but when he pulled his hand away early, I followed through and punched my in the face. Sounds awful but I laughed so hard, I ended up crying. I dont even know why it was so funny, she was in pain for days!

What's the worst injury you've ever had?

I think the answer to this one is going to be any girly related accident. The time I broke my ribs were pretty nasty because I couldnt breathe properly. I grew up with an abusive step dad who liked slapping me around a fair bit so theres a long list of them! Im slightly suffering from a boyfrind induced injury right now...so that comes straight to mind.

Which song or lyric do you think best sums up your life (or sums you up as a person)?

Either Faithless´Insomnia because Im constantly troubled with bouts of really bad Insomnia in my life. I once went 12 days without sleep and it drives me mad. You lose all concept of time and walk around like a zombie. The other song would be Sia´s Breathe Me just because its such a beautiful song and her voice is amazing. The lyrics are stunning and alot of the time (especially when I write) I realise that a lot of the madness in my life is self inflicted.

Which of the worlds problems do you think deserves the most attention?

Personally, I think if any problems related to Racism and cultural differences were resolved, it would solve a lot of issues. There are many other issues that are just as important but if we didnt have problems with race, we wouldnt have terriorists trying to blow buildings or people up, the world would support each other´s countries more and I seriously believe there would be less rivarly on the streets. How can we solve issues on a global level when we cant even stop the war on the streets?

If aliens came to the planet and took you away, which planet would you hope they were taking you to?

Earlier this year, I saw Saturn's rings when the Earth crossed it's path in line with the Sun. This normally happens between January - April time when it is the closest planet and shines the biggest in the sky so if I had to be taken away somewhere, I would say Saturn. It looked really pretty and I'm a girl so I can get away with saying that! Plus, we dont really know too much about the planet. We kind of go as far as Mars and just get stuck there!

EmmaK wants to know:

Who was the worst lover you ever had and why? what did he do and was it torture and did you tell him to stop?

There are so many to name! That sounds awful, the worst one without a doubt was my first ever real boyfriend Nightclub Crawler. He wasnt the biggest guy and in all honest was REALLY boring. He had problem with spunking himself too early and although I tried every trick in the book, it never worked. In the end, we broke up and I promised myself I would never sleep with him again...which didnt really work since I would call him up drunk, wanting sex. I suppose I was at that age when I thought because I was "in love with him", it would be the best sex I would ever have. Obviously, since then I realised this isnt the case!

Auri asks:

You seem like an amazing woman. Why is it, do you think, you have a need to be punished?

Thanks for thinking I'm amazing! I think that I've gotten used to being treated like shit by men and that my love for toxicity more than likely came from seeing my mum getting treated like shit by my step dad. If I do ever meet a nice guy these days, I either get bored VERY quickly or I think its all fake and try to catch him out. It sounds pathetic but I guess Im addicted to the drama.

e_burnt.toast wants to know:

How many sexual partners have you ever had?

I stopped counting when I hit double figures. Purely because I couldnt be bothered to remember them all. Bambi has a list of hers on her pc but Im not that organised. I would say the number is likely to be between 15-20. I always lie when boyfriends ask me...although I have been stuck on 9 for about 3 years now. Some of them believe me, some of them dont!

Whats the dirtiest thing you've done in sex?

Literally the dirtiest thing I've done is shoving a dildo up The Womanizer's ass. We were both drunk and he kept insisting on a bit of backdoor action so I said only if he let me do it first. He never did around to his turn!

The naughtiest place you've had sex?

In a club, upstairs infront of tons of people, next to the River Thames or in an empty massive fireplace. I think the ultimate naughtiest place would be a place of worship although it would be REALLY disrespectful.

Name a situation where you've lied to get yourself out of trouble

I lie A LOT! I lied to my parents last year when I told them that I had only tried Cocaine once when in reality, it wasnt the only drug I had tried and it was more than once. My parents are from a culture and a generation where people dont do drugs and they couldnt understand WHY anyone would do them in the first place.

ANON emailed, asking:

When have you started social whoring?

The whole concept behind in social whoring is knowing everyone and everything. The idea behind it actually came about last year, when The Womanizer was shocked at how I had managed to get to know everyone in Barcelona within a short period of time. In Barcelona, its easier to social whore because its so small and the population of English speaking people are close knit whereas in London, its harder. I guess I've always been a social whorer. I was the popular kid at school and everyone knew my name. I've always liked being the center of attention.

How was the teen Mia?

Teen Mia was as troubled as Adult Mia. Teen Mia was a tomboy, always with the boys, playing football, causing havoc and messing around. She was also insecure about herself and didnt know what she was doing in life. As a child, she would always be running away at weddings and parties and could normally be found somewhere near the event by random strangers. Teen Mia didnt have a stable life, her parents were constantly fighting over her step dad's cheating ways and he would give her the odd backhand every now and then. Now a 20 something year old woman, not much has changed. Mia has run away from her life in London and is hoping to get some kind of peace and quiet in her life!

How were you in school?

I was the loud tomboy. I knew everyone and everyone knew me. I was always causing trouble and spent a lot of my time chasing cute boys even though none of them fancied me! I used to get all my school work done but my heart was never in it. When I look back at school, I remember it being a fun time where everything was a-okay

What happened after finishing high school?

I worked the summer in Waitrose while all my friends spent their time partying. Then despite the protests I went to college where I did my first year of AS Levels but I spent most of the year in the pub, under age drinking. I lost my virginity in London's Bushy Park to my then best friend. I quit college and trained as a hairdresser but then got bored and went back to college to finish my A Levels. Then I went to University to do Law with Spanish, finished and started working.

What are your ideas about dreaming big, reaching a goal, being a strong and independent woman and fighting for what we want?

I'm far from being a strong, independent woman. I think my writing proves that in fact, Im a broken, lost woman who needs to actually get a therapist rather than pouring her heart out on an online blog! LMAO! I went out on a date the other day and was asked what would be the ultimate goal. The man in question was a very rich, powerful man who had a tough childhood and had made a successful of himself. When it comes to work and money, I know my strengths, I know I can make tons of money, I know if I put my heart into it, I can head up departments, talk to EMEA managers of Reuters and work 50 hour weeks. The biggest goal and dream of mine is having a happy, healthy family of my own where my children are happy and I have a loving, caring husband. Having stablility in my life is also key. I think anyone with two brain cells can go out and work their ass off and make dollar but its a real challenge to have a family.

Thanks for everyone that took the time and effort to contact me. Some of them were really challenging! Hope everyone had a good weekend.