All Characters In This Said Piece Are Factual And Although You Might Not Be Named (And Righty So Shamed) You Are A Force To Be Reckoned In My Story.

Having Said That, Unless You Still Receive 3am Drunken Love Poems Via Electronic Mediums, You Were Unfortunately Just A Spur Of the Moment Obessession. Get.Over.It. Love. Bitterness And Angry Aint Pretty. Be Happy You Are Being Acknowledged.

No Men Were Intentially Or (That) Severly Injuried In The Events Of This Blog. Most Of You Asked For It And Enjoyed The Best Part Of The Experience.

As A Wise Man Once Said, What's Life Without Pain?

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

Vain Man

Vain Man is possibly the only true love Mia has experienced. Vain Man was tall, slim and had the bluer eyes than the crystal clear seas in Fiji (Mia has seen the pictures, she knows the score). VM had long chin length hair and at one point, it was longer than Mia's. At the time they were together, Mia was ready to give up everything. The story of VM can not be told in one sitting as it is long and complex which inevitably added Mia's name to the long list of burnt women who sought desperate measures to get even.

In Mia's opinion, VM is heads above the rest purely because he was the first man she ever lived with, the only one whom to this date has managed to train her into becoming domesticated and in a record time of 2 years went from lover to boyfriend to husband to ex-husband.

Mia first met VM when they both worked together as temps for the BBC. VM only worked 3 days a week and was sleeping with Slutty Bitch, whom at the time was an acquaintance Mia was fond off. Whenever Mia and VM worked together, they would amuse themselves with office gossip, tales of their own sex lives and play rude hangman in between their corporate conference calls.

Mia would often flirt with VM. He was easy on the eyes and it passed the time. They both shared the same passions of filthy talking and cutting corners in order to avoid any real hard work.

Months past and when Mia finished her contract and moved to another office, she became busy in her own world and lost in touch with VM...although their story had just begun.


Gorilla Bananas said...

Ah, I can just feel his vanity! What a pity he couldn't have fucked himself instead of you, Mia.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Crikey, rude hang-man... I hope you out-ruded him.

I, Like The View said...

hey - by the time you're middle aged, your past will be littered with men like this


Alice Keates said...

He sounds like utter death - you were right, SO much like Wanker Banker. At least I didn't MARRY him - commiserations.

trumpeter said...

What's 'rude hangman'? Oh.. wait, I got it.

Blunderbitch said...

I was always told never to trust a man with blue eyes. They're just like Big Macs. They look and taste so fucking delicious, but will shred your insides like a merciless weed-wacker, only to leave you feeling fat, ugly and foiled again!

EmmaK said...

yeah I wanna know what rude hangman is too. Can't wait for the next installment in the tale of VM.

Mia Dickinson said...

GB: I think he might of possible fucked himself a few too many times and maybe thats why he was so Vain

Scarlet-Blue: I would say I outhung him a few times but that just sounds awful coming from a girl!

I, Like The View - Please tell me it isnt so. Im having enough trouble trying to avoid the men from my past as it is and Im only 25

Alice - We should set Banker Wanker and Vain Man up on a date. They can both ass lick each other. Atleast that way theres two more women we would of saved from them

Trumpeter and EmmaK - Rude hangman is the same as normal hangman but with the added bonus of rude sex based words. Just a tad bit more exciting than normal hangman. Like Strip Poker but without the Stripping or the Poker...

Blunderbitch - Have you read this story somewhere before? Or in fact been a victim of VM yourself? That description fits him to a tee and he some how managed to make me feel like that! The only difference is...Big Macs dont leave an awful taste in your mouth afterwards

Oribi said...

Blunderbitch's comment rings true here as well. He hasn't ripped my heart out and put it on a platter yet, but it's like circling the drain.