Nor Here Nor There

I moved to Barcelona last wednesday. Did you know that? It was possibly one of the most difficult decisions I have made in my life, possibly more difficult than deciding to move here in the first place. You see, I moved to Barcelona last June. I met The Womanizer, I drank too much, partied too much, did way too many drugs and the only way to get away from him and all the madness was to move back to London. Did it work? Did it fuck.

After promising my family I wouldnt ever move back here, I left without saying goodbye and jumped on the plane. I havent spoke to my parents since. The truth is, when you immigrate from your own country and move to somewhere where the cultural shock is completely opposite to where you grew up, its very hard to go back to what you knew.

After spending 10 months in Spain where time is no concept and you can get hamburgers and beer at half 6 in the morning on the way to work, to moving to London where you have to be in a restaurant by half 9 to get a meal was a major shocker. All my friends had stayed in the same little circle, going to the shitty local clubs, falling out of cabs and into arms of strangers. Whereas as I had seen more to the world, saw countless sunrises on the Med, met stunningly gorgeous men, partied til I couldnt take anymore, explored Gaudi, ate Paella with the locals and made a complete nuisance of myself.

The reality of it was, I outgrew where I came from. I made mistakes, I fell for the wrong guy, I made myself ill by doing too many drugs, I made friends, I lost friends, I starved, I cried, I laughed but most of all, I lived. The six or so months I was in London, I wasnt living. I was exisitng. I was trying to pretend to be something and someone I wasnt and it drove me insane.

For the first time this year, I am free from any man in my life, free to any judgements made by family members and it feels fantastic. I´ve always thought of London as home. I am and always will be a proud Londoner, born and breed but when I stepped off that plane late last Wednesday night, I realised for now, Barcelona is more home than anywhere else.

Until my next post, hasta pronto!

STOP PRESS*** August only means one thing...my birthday is around the corner. Next Saturdays post will be a personal inside to moi (of course!) so you can ask me anything you wish. Remember, thats only another 8 days to go. You can either leave your question(s) - there are no limits in the comments below or email me at missmiadickinsonATgmailDOTcom.